Day four and I'm told by the night nurse I'm going home tomorrow. Guess there's high vacancy at the Chateau 'cause they don't seem too concerned about shipping me out. Originally I was told that today would likely be the day.
Somewhere in the haze that was yesterday, the hefty dose of morphine was replaced by oral oxy. Not quite the same quick hit but certainly good for long term relief and sound, uninterrupted sleep. Even on the ward. And now with the change over complete, I am all set up for check out tomorrow morning. The doctor had come and gone telling me to keep both legs elevated, above my heart, more often than not, and I will need to attend weekly fracture clinics here at the hospital, over the next six weeks.
He has not painted a very rosy, long term picture for me and my left foot. He states once again, that the ankle will never be the same and that I have a lot of work with physiotherapy ahead of me. The good news is, and there is always some good news, I have survived this little ordeal extremely well. The Doc informs me that the statistics covering falls from fifteen feet or more, indicate that fifty percent wind up dead or with some form of paralysis or brain damage. Fifty percent! Guess landing right side up was the thing to do. I won't be dancing, but I will be mobile. Under my own steam. In spite of my bad decision. So I have to chalk this one up to being rather fortunate in the grand scheme of things. It's always about perspective.
Shortly after he clears out, I'm sitting there all alone, thinking ok, it's not great. But it could have been so much worse. I'm trying to focus on the I'm-a-pretty-lucky-guy-in-the -grand-scheme-of-things, when in walks this stunning little cutie in the candy striper dress, with the long blond, and curvy this and that, and she comes sliding up to bed side oozing this sultry, playful attitude and she takes my hand and says "Hey there Dufus, so how about that bath today? It's been three days and I'm sure we could use that bath by now, don't you agree"? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more! SAY NO MORE!!
Now the 'we' in that question needs no pondering and without even thinking about it, I'm in! "Yes mam! What an excellent suggestion. Hot bath? I could really use a hot bath today. Yes my dear! Absolutely, but I'm quite sure I'm gonna need a little help though".
"Not a problem" she replies. And leaves the room.
Two minutes later...............................wait for it............................
in comes a wheel chair................................ manned by the Black and White!!!!!!!!!
"So Mr. Dufus, I understand we have decided to have a bath today. Excellent", she says. "I'll go book the room and be back in a few minutes to get us started".
Three days of drugs were just too much for me to see that coming. Gotta be the oldest trick in the book. In every hospital ever built. And I pitched in with both feet. I should have had pages to write about here. Instead, suffice it to say, I was cleaned up and I was checked out. And I was sent home to six weeks of major adjustment.
Son of a bitch!
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